then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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