so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Houston, we have a squirter
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
