Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
