I'm lost and stupid without you.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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