how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He did a backflip because drugs
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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