Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Randomize
