literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
