it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
