My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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