I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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