Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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