we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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