Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
