i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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