my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
