3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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