i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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