Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
operation harelip BJ is a go
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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