we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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