People in love make me want to vomit
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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