Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
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He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
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We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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