The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
