i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
