I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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