love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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