Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
honey bunches of taint.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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