Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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