i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I got inside last night via doggy door
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize