Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
