Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
