I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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