Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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