I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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