Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
