You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
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Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
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This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead