Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
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Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"