Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup