So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type