i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You are the jesus of drinking
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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