I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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