I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
