My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
