hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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