We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
