People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
