There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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