We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
