if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
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