How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
