the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I will pee on everything he values.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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