hotel room ftw
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
