omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
smell my finger.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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