That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
