Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
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Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
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We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
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