i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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