Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
