if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
they're like a gay fantastic four
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
