i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
