you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
