No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
