god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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