So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
