He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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