Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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