What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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