I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
