that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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