North Korea, Best Korea!
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
