Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
