Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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