is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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