My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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