Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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