Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
